Grocery Store Limbo

(Note: Written about two weeks ago, rescued from drafts.)

You know, I honestly hate going to the store.

Any store, really. It doesn’t matter what I’m buying, but what’s been giving me the most headaches lately is shopping for groceries.

I’m home for the entirety of this week, my driving class over and my film classes on the horizon, and already I have been saddled with the burden of facing my impeding adult life via a trip to Whole Foods.

Hell, I can’t even drive yet! I’d love to just go on my own with a list and get it over with real quickly, but alas! It was not meant to be. My father and I went to Whole Foods, pathetically crowded by older women and mothers with their three children.

An aside: What is is with mothers having three children in succession? You don’t hear of that many people with four kids around the same age, and you only hear slightly more with two. So is it just that couples who enjoy young children often have three of them? Kids are scary, man.

But I really don’t like Whole Foods. My dad forgot his glasses, so I had to read everything for him. We walked around their for hours. I wasn’t briefed on what we had to get. The list of reasons to dislike this certain trip goes on.

But those are all small reasons. Why did I actually hate this experience? It’s not like I had anything to do, although I would have rather stayed home and gotten farther with my summer reading. But seriously, why do I hate the store so much?

It could be the constant threat of people coming up to you and asking questions like “do you need any help?”. No, actually. I don’t need any help. Thanks.

(Once in a Harris Teeter I made the mistake of voicing these thoughts, and muttered “do I look incapable?”. I really hoped no one had heard me).

Maybe the fact that I still have to go with my father is some sort of subconscious threat to my newfound teenage independence. Maybe it’s that I feel much too young to push a cart around the store, yet still yearn to depart from my father’s side as he steers the wheeled contraption. 

I’m in a grocery store limbo.

Mystical Posse

I do a fair amount of filmmaking. It’s one of my passions, really, and working as a screenwriter or director is one of my dream jobs. I have a fair amount of experience for a high schooler, too. In fact, I’m one of the three most experienced in my current two-week twelve-person narrative class. This means that I’ll be at the head of a four person film team.
This is a bit new for me. I’m not used to being the ‘captain’ of a group. That’s not to say I haven’t stepped up and led people in a more unofficial capacity, it’s just my first time being de jure and well as de facto.
And I’m ready for it–I really am! Except for the small bump in the road where my group isn’t nearly as experienced as I am.
I can deal with that alone! They seem like hard workers!
But one kid, no matter what we did, never seemed to want to be part of the group. And I don’t mean in a quiet, avoidant, and ignore-the-fact-that-I’m-supposed-to-say-something way. I mean that in the way that he hates every idea we come up with.
For this story, I’m gonna call this kid Sidebangs (he has a Zac Efron-esque haircut, like so:
)
He came into the class with a plan: write a Hitchcock-esque thriller about a woman being stalked. That’s all very well and good, but there are two main issues with this.
The first is more personal. It’s the fact that every (overly detailed) scene he told us about happened for no reason whatsoever. The plot wasn’t pushing the main character’s decisions–it was just existing at the same time she was! That creates a passive main character and I could go on about the reasons to avoid that, but there are plenty of resources about that online.
The second issue is definitely more major. THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS GROUP! I’ve recently been writing a screenplay for a short film. One of the other guys in the group had a very strong idea. I was going to bring mine up, but after realizing that disaster that occurs when someone in the group already has an idea, I realized we needed to go an entirely different route.
So we’re making a comedy! Everyone wanted a comedy except–you guessed it–Sidebangs.
I’m not going to bore you with the details of the rest of this. But we have a pretty strong idea as a group now (everyone except for Sidebangs is in allegiance with me) and the mentors running the class think we’re on a good track. Sidebangs wrote a separate treatment with a different idea of his, but he says he feels good with the group’s idea.
So I’m thankful! Things are looking up thanks to some good old fashioned cooperation!
But it really doesn’t happen that way too often, does it? It’s rare to find a group that immediately ran into problems who somehow fought their way out. I think I’ve stumbled upon one such mystical posse.
Maybe “Mystical Posse” is a good name for a group? It’s kind of dweebily self-aware, isn’t it? A little endearing? I hope so.

I know this is kind of a weird post, and I know that I haven’t updated in a while, but I’m trying to jog my blogging juices. I really am. If you have any personal gripes or topics you think would be an interesting subject for a post I’d love to hear about them in the comments!

Cults, Kids, and Music

You know when you’ve been listening to a song for a few days, and then you put it on this one time, and notice something you’ve totally missed before?

Usually it’s a bass line, or a subtle harmony, or something to that effect, but sometimes it’s a really big thing. And I mean a REALLY BIG THING.

Like that fact that Cults’ “Go Outside” begins with a segment of a Jim Jones speech.

How I managed to miss this, I don’t know. It’s not even like I didn’t realize it was specifically Jim Jones or anything. I actually missed the whole intro speech completely.

So you can imagine that when I plugged in my headphones today and “Go Outside” was the first track on my playlist, I was a little unnerved. I checked all my Chrome tabs, closed out iTunes, sure that it had to be some sort of weird ad or radio mixup before I finally realized that it was actually part of the track.

Really, it should have been obvious, given the band’s name and everything.

If you haven’t heard the track, here’s the video (complete with footage from a People’s Temple meeting. Creepy).

One of the things that always weirded me out a bit was songs by adults where children sing on the chorus or in the background or something. There’s actually a fair amount of songs that do this (and certainly more exist than come to my mind). 

And it’s not some new fad, either. The youthful singing can be found on hits like The Rolling Stones’ “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” or Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want To Have Fun”.

Even when I was a kid, I always found it a bit unnerving. I’m not sure why, but you have to admit it’s at least a little weird.

I mean, why would so many musicians choose to have children singing in their music? Is it an ironic statement about how children repeat words they learn from adults (or the people writing the lyrics)? At least not in every case. But it could be a subversion of the innocence and youth that a young voice presents. Take the chorus of M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” for example. Having gunshots play over seemingly jovial children’s singing definitely heightens the message and intrigue of the song, all due to the contrast between war and innocence.

There are even more songs that come to mind which include the noises of playing children in the background. Those I’ve managed to get over a bit easier than the rest (I still have to turn down the chorus of that M.I.A. song).

I’ve noticed that a lot of those with kid noises in the background are fairly recent indie pop. Maybe that’s just because I listen to a lot of fairly recent indie pop, but hey, my observations can’t be ignored.

One such example is “Rocket Ship”, an early song by the band San Cisco, that has a seriously youthful flair where kids chanting in the chorus about a rocket ship doesn’t seem so out of place.

Then there’s the more popular “Kids” by MGMT. Having kids sing makes a bit more sense for this one because it’s name is, well, “Kids”. The video is kinda creepy though. 

A small aside: For most this is the definitive song from the band. But what most people who’ve heard “Kids” (e.i. anyone with a radio) may not know is how much this song totally does not represent this band’s style. MGMT is not often a “sing along to this nice pretty song” kind of band. Have you ever heard their twelve-minute song called “Siberian Breaks”? 

But “Siberian Breaks” isn’t the kind of song that could ever get commercial traction, so it figures that one of the poppiest tracks the band released is the one that people know them by.

“Kids” is a really catchy song, okay? But there’s this one point where it’s just one person screaming for about two seconds. It’s always a bit grating to me, but I’ve gotten used to it. I’ve definitely not come to love it (as I have with Ezra Koenig’s voice breaks at the apex of a note on “Blake’s Got A New Face”). I suppose the fact that the scream comes right before the very poppy hook helps with it’s stand-ability.

I have to wonder if I’m the only one unnerved and perplexed by children singing in songs. Does anyone feel the same? Know some other songs with kids singing? Have any other musical pet peeves? 

“Types” of People

You know, that last post got me thinking a lot about ‘types of people’.

What even constitutes as a type? Is it clothing, voice, background? How many does there have to be to quality as a type? And there are even different sub-sets of types in various regions (a Portland hipster is not the same as a Richmond one)! And what about people who defy preconceived ideas of types? 

And that brings me to what I saw today at the post office. My dad and I were mailing a pre-paid package (It was a shoe return. It’s always a shoe return), when we walked into that little glass cubicle thing that you have to cue up inside of to actually talk to a postal worker.

All I could find for a visual aid was this. Just imagine it with a little more ‘grubby post office’ flair:

I wonder what’s so special about talking to a postal worker that you have to be in a box for it. I mean, people who are just getting stamps from a machine or getting their mail out from those little boxes in the back don’t need a separate little room. All that fuss makes you wonder what it takes to even be a postal worker.

I’m also pretty sure it’s soundproofed. Having that glass cube there creates a rather strange phenomena: complete silence in the lobby. Is this intentional? Is that why the box is there? Do you need quiet to mail a letter? Why is everyone so silent in a post office? 

Ugh. So many questions about post offices. They really are mysterious places. But back to my original query.

My dad and I walk in. There are about eight people in there, plus two postal workers behind the counter, which pretty much fills up the room. One of the workers is helping what I presume to be a mother and her grown daughter mail some sort of package. He explains that something might be in their little mailing sack that could have to be taken out by some other postal worker down the line.

The mother says turns to her daughter and says, “Well, let’s send it and just trust the universe!”

Now, this isn’t that weird of a thing to hear. There are some very neo-hippie-esque people who live in my town. But, “trust the universe”!? What the hell are you talking about, lady?

But that’s really not what startled me. It’s that in conjunction with what she looked like that got me interested. I don’t want to come off like I’m judgmental, but you would expect someone who says something as cosmic-ly trusting as she did to wear a long skirt and some sort of naturally-dyed scarf, right?

WRONG. This women was wearing one of those really colorful, starchy-type dresses. Like from Vineyard Vines or something. She had that ‘woman-over-60’ haircut, like this:

Isn’t that a little bizarre? She kept saying that kinda stuff the whole time they were trying to get that package mailed! What’s more, her daughter looked more the part of universe-truster than her mother. She was dressed more like me, with black jean shorts and one of those too-big crop tops. She fit the ‘respectful but cynical daughter’ vibe. Maybe her style was born to combat her mother’s seemingly contradictory social presentation. Who knows.

Most people think there is some kind of spectrum between uptight and liberal, and still others believe every social group is completely distinct. It’s clear from observing someone like Post Office Lady that neither are true. That woman was the quintessential ‘preppy mom’ type on the outside, but whenever she opened her mouth another ‘Subaru-driver’ type sentence came out. 

You have to wonder how these glorious combinations exist. Is it due to a purely individual choice, or some kind of social cross-contamination?

Was she raised preppy or raised hippie? Neither? Did she cultivate the new-age ideology in her youth, and then choose to present herself like a Martha’s Vineyard vacationer once she began a family? 

The truth may never be known. The woman herself may even be unconscious that there is any sort of truth to figure out!

I wonder if their package got sent.

Driver’s Ed

Driver’s ed is a little bizarre when you think about it. I’m spending two weeks of my summer in a small and slightly chilled room with with fifteen kids from other private schools watching badly written videos about safety on roadways. It may be a bit weirder for me due to the fact that I was unaware I was taking it until a few days before the class started. My parents and I were unsure whether the in-class portion of drivers ed was required.

Spoiler alert: it is.

Such ignorance is a prime example of why being an only child can be confusing. This could also apply to those without an older sibling, but I’ve noticed that parents with multiple children are often more connected with the school-age community. 

Interesting, but this is a topic for another day.

What I’ve found most interesting about driver’s ed (the instructor is well aware that the material is less than riveting) is the bizarre mixture of kids in the class. There are kids from all sorts of schools! This societal merging is much more entertaining than actual driving merging.

But I’ve found one guy the most interesting. There’s this redhead who sits to the left and a little bit behind me (I sit in the front like a LOSER). For this story I’m just going to call him Redhead Kid. In truth, I don’t actually know his name.

Redhead kid goes to one of the county high schools and lives a bit out in country area. He speaks with a bit of an accent and says “yes, ma’am” sometimes. He tells the instructor he plans to miss a day in class because of a baseball recruiting trip. The second day we learn he plans to join the military.

Now I forget that people actually do that kinda stuff. I live in a relatively progressive area sandwiched between people who still fly the stars n’ bars and those who are military-made. So naturally I don’t find people in my immediate area who address men by “sir”, or say “atta girl” when we watch a woman narrowly avoid a head-on collision with a tractor-trailer. Redhead Kid is one of those people.

He says these kind of kind of old-fashioned things while telling us a tale about how his friends “probably” didn’t hit someone driving back from beach week at 2 a.m., or while sharing his wisdom about how some of the most Christian boys schools have some of the highest rates of partying, drugs, and alcohol.

(A small aside: his story was about how he and his friends were at an intersection driving back from the beach early in the morning, when a pickup comes from the other direction with somebody mattress surfing off the back, like this:

Who that heck wakes up at 2 a.m. and thinks “hey, this is a good time to go mattress surfing”??)

For all his seemingly antiquated manners, people like Redhead Kid have an awful predisposition to be troublemakers. This connection has always baffled me.

Is it the overbearing parents that cause the feeling of necessary rebellion? Is it the issues that the parents refuse to discuss due to ‘traditional values’ that kids find themselves attracted to? Or is it only so strange to me because I’m not used to such adolescent behavior being so greatly contrasted with such a seemingly strict institution as the military?

Who the fuck knows. Driver’s ed is a weird place. You meet weird people and learn about weird things. I say good luck to Redhead Kid! (Although I admit my first thought when he told us about his future was “he won’t make it in military school”). At least he’ll know how to drive better than his friends.

Telling Observations

Honestly, I don’t really know why I started this blog. It seemed like a thing to do, even though the blog craze is over. Maybe it’s for posterity’s sake.

There’ll be anecdotes, ideas, and of course, observations. Maybe some music will find it’s way here. I’m not the serious blogger type; this is meant to have some humor. I hope it does!